


To Heal A Soul

by DarkCorgi



Series: To Heal a Soul [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance, Sexual Content, Slash, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-04-12
Updated: 2005-04-12
Packaged: 2018-09-27 21:24:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10050983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkCorgi/pseuds/DarkCorgi
Summary: Severus has a mysterious illness.  Fawkes knows the cause and is determined to fix it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HP Fandom](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HP_Fandom_\(archive\)), which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HP Fandom collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/profile).

Disclaimer: All Character's belong to J.K. Rowling. I receive no money for this. I'm just playing because I'm bored.  
Note: Part of the 7th wave of the Dusk Til Dawn Harry Potter/Severus Snape Fuh-Q Fest at www.kardasi.com. The challenge is based on the theme of 'No man is an Island'.  
Beta: As always a big thank you to Magdelena for suffering through my poor comma usage.

A/N: This story is pre-slash and rated for mention of drug abuse. Another fair warning is that my muse decided last minute that he wanted to produce a story for this wave after refusing for months to touch it. It decided at 6 am on March 15th to write this. Go figure.

 

I shook off another attempt by Minerva to mother me and stalked towards my domain, taking the longest way there just to avoid the rest of the staff looking to waylay me. Every since I collapsed in front of the staff earlier this summer they have all been hounding my every waking moment and invading my privacy. Albus insists that they're concerned about me, but I don't believe that for one moment. They all just want to be the first to find my dead body and all I want is to be left alone.

 

The incident that started this annoying trend by my colleagues resulted in my wasting an entire afternoon in Poppy's domain, being poked and prodded. Much to everyone's disappointment she didn't find a thing wrong with me. There are times that I long to leave this world and have considered cutting my time short with the help of my concoctions, but Albus has taken steps to prevent me from doing so. Besides I just love to disappoint everyone year in and year out. No, Poppy didn't find a thing wrong with me and I wasn't about to tell her that I've had other attacks like this, though they didn't cripple me for several moments like the one that day. I had several of these attacks over the past couple of years, but recently they were becoming more frequent and knowing Poppy as well as I do, I'd be tied to a bed until she figured out the cause. I won't allow that to happen. I have too much to do. When she finally allowed me out I was trailed by an anxious Minerva, much like I was today. None of these people seem to understand that I want to be alone.

 

Ever since the war ended I've become a virtual pariah, rarely left the dungeons, and never left the castle these days, the latter by Albus' direct order. The old man feared for my safety among those who still believed me to be a Death Eater. The wizarding world has the same personality my father did. Nothing I did was ever good enough for them. I was a Death Eater and they condemned me. When they found out I was a spy they condemned me again. I've made advancements on the Wolfsbane Potion and developed a potion to allow the Vampires more control over their blood lust, but they dismissed those achievements as inconsequential. 

 

Oddly enough I found I wasn't the only one on the side of 'the light' to be frowned upon by the wizarding world. Potter was ostracized by the people not long after the Dark Lord's demise. Many of the reasons were petty, but the population as a whole is nothing more than a flock of sheep going in what ever direction the sheepdog herds them in. When Potter wouldn't settle down with one of the many witches that threw themselves at him, they grumbled that he was ungrateful. Once upon a time I would have said the same thing, but I've learned better. Albus would love to hear that escape my lips. Potter turned down offers to play Quidditch and positions in the Ministry and the sheep called him shiftless and lazy. I knew he wasn't. He's proven that to me during his last two years of schooling. He was very rarely seen in public and avoided large gatherings like the plaque. A fair cry from the attention-seeking brat I once claimed him to be. The fact that Potter shunned the limelight had everyone wondering what he was doing. Rumours that he was seriously injured or dying as a result of killing the Dark Lord circulated faster than the speed of sound. I knew that they were wrong and understood his need for solitude. 

 

When Potter refused to attend the Ministry's first annual celebration marking the Dark Lord's defeat everything came to a head. The week following the Ministry's attempt to make itself look good was marked by dozens of articles written about the brat; none of them showed the wizarding world's hero in a good light. When they started to claim he was the next Dark Lord or a menace that needed to be caged, Potter vanished without a trace, and no one was able to find him. Albus insisted he didn't know where Potter ran off to, but I knew better than that. Albus knew where he was, but I didn't care; I never did. That didn't stop me from eavesdropping on my colleagues when they badgered Albus for information on the boy. Two years after Potter went to ground Albus stopped answering those questions and forbade everyone from mentioning the boy to him. I couldn't fathom why he went sour on his protégé, but I didn't have time to wonder. It was about this time my attacks started to occur.

 

I jerked myself out of my memories as I reached familiar territory, taking a moment to wonder why my thoughts kept drifting to Potter more and more these days. This was the second time today that my mind wandered to that particular subject. As I traversed the back way to my rooms, my mind wandered to my current predicament. The staff's constant presence was annoying, especially when they tried to escort me everywhere I needed to go, but the sudden interest Fawkes had in me was alarming. The bird now showed up at odd hours and just stared at me. It was disturbing considering the fact that Fawkes had never looked at me since I came crawling to Albus for a way out of the life I had chosen. Now the blasted avian hung around for hours staring at me. I'd considered charging the over grown chicken rent.

 

I finally reached the door to my rooms and immediately barricaded myself behind its walls. After I warded it with every spell I knew to keep the others out, another of those painful episodes struck. I collapsed on my knees as the pain in my chest blossomed to agonizing proportions. Sparks flashed behind my clenched eyelids as I panted for air. The pain was more intense than the last time this happened and I silently begged it to hurry up and kill me, but I was disappointed when it didn't happen. The only way I could describe the pain would be to say it felt like someone cutting my heart out with a spoon. These attacks were coming with greater frequency now. The last one happened two days ago. Whatever these episodes were, they gave all the symptoms of a heart attack, and I could only hope that there wouldn't be any more in front of the rest of the staff. Once was enough. 

 

When my vision finally cleared I staggered into my bathroom for a pain killing potion. Whatever this was, I wasn't about to let it interfere with my research anymore than it already had. Once the residual pain was reduced to a manageable level, I headed to my private laboratory to continue my next set of advancements on the Wolfsbane Potion. It didn't take much for me to lose myself in my work. I've always lost myself to the brewing process and it allowed me to think while part of my mind kept track of what my hands were doing. Unfortunately my thoughts drifted off to Potter again. I wondered where he was and what he was doing. I had no idea why I cared. I never have before, but as the idle thought of him being married with little Potters running about his feet, my heart clenched in a pain reminiscent of those attacks I've been suffering from. Snarling, I wrenched my attention to the task at hand just in time to see the flash of fire that heralded Fawkes' arrival. 

 

After I added the next ingredient for the Wolfsbane and studied the reaction of the substitution I turned my attention to the bloody red bird sitting on the work table next to me. Fawkes held out his leg and I couldn't help thanking the powers-that-be that the bird had a reason to be here. Not that the missive he brought was that important. It was just a reminder about the staff meeting before dinner. I didn't wish to go to the blasted meeting, but it was mandatory. Every year at this last meeting before the students arrive, Albus infallibly announces who the new Defence teacher would be for the upcoming school year. Needless to say it hasn't been me and most likely never will be. I gave a quick glance at the bloody bird before sneaking a peak at the clock on the wall opposite me. I still had several hours before the meeting, which should be enough to finish the early stages of the potion before it needed to simmer. I studiously ignored Fawkes as the bird drilled holes into my head with his beady eyes. How I wish I could dismember the annoying chicken and bottle him. Eventually I slid back into that state of mind I inevitably fall into while brewing, but I couldn’t help but be aware of Fawkes piercing gaze. Time seemed to slow as I worked, but eventually the hours passed and it was time for Albus' meeting.

 

Fawkes settled onto my shoulder as I spelled a dust barrier around the potion and locked the lab and then my rooms. I tried, as I walked through the halls, to dislodge the phoenix, but he stubbornly clung to my robes while tweeting and squawking in my ear. It was as if the bird was trying to tell me something, but there wasn't a chance in hell that I would understand. As I made my way up the hidden stairs that I traversed earlier I was struck down by another of those debilitating attacks. Fiery pain ripped through my chest and Fawkes did his best to help, but there was only so much phoenix song could do. After what seemed to be an eternity, the pain lessened and I was able to continue slowly to the staff lounge. Fawkes watched me sadly and for some irrational reason I felt the need to speak with him.

 

"I don't need your pity, bird. I know I'm dying. I just wish it would hurry up and kill me already." I snapped and just to annoy me even more Fawkes shook his feathered head in a negative motion. "No what, you stupid bird?" I asked with ever increasing anger. "You don't think I'm dying? I assure you that I am." I was rewarded by a series of squawks and chirps and, when I couldn't translate what the phoenix was saying, a highly frustrated look from the scarlet plumed bird, who promptly disappeared in a ball of fire. 

 

I was greatly relieved to be rid of the blasted phoenix. All his attentions were getting on my nerves. I made it to the staff lounge with a minute or two to spare before Albus arrived, but it didn’t do me any good. Instead of being able to use that time to compose myself, I ended up fending off the attentions of Minerva, Poppy and Pomona. There was no way I could disguise the effects of the attack I suffered on the way there and the only thing that saved the three women from a thorough hexing was Albus' arrival. 

 

The meeting was as boring as last years. Albus droned on about how the budget was to be distributed and reminded us that our lesson plans were due at the end of the week. I tuned out the usual requests from Hooch for new brooms to replace the worst of the school brooms and all the other chatter that didn't pertain to me. It wasn't until the very end that something they were discussing grabbed my attention.

 

"Who did you hire to teach Defence this year, Albus?" Minerva asked briskly while putting the papers she brought to order.

 

"I don't know. Fawkes decided that he was going to hire the Defence professor this year. He burned every application on my desk before I could even glance at them." Albus said in bemusement. "He made it quite clear that he had the perfect person for the job."

 

I scoffed quietly to myself listening to Albus' explanation. I don't understand the bird and I doubt that it'll be any better at picking a Defence instructor than Albus was. We'll all have to wait until next week when the sure-to-be-incompetent person arrived to teach. No one was happy that they had to wait to greet the newcomer. They preferred to make their initial judgments early, before the students arrived, so they had time to school their dislike, if there was any, from their faces.

 

The rest of the week went quietly as far as the rest of the staff invading my privacy was concerned, but I was having increasing difficulty hiding the after-effects of the chest pains I'd been having. Poppy insisted on another exam and Minerva dragged me to the hospital wing at wand point. The medi-witch still couldn't find a reason behind the attacks that were becoming more frequent as the week progressed. I was now having two or more a day and they didn't always wait until I was alone to happen. Even Albus was stumped and the lines on the old wizard's face grew deeper and more pronounced as his worry for me increased. I still to this day have no idea why he cares so much for me. After all, my own father thought I was worthless even with my phenomenal potions skills. 

 

Other than the increasing agony in my chest, the week for me was business as usual. I completed my experiments and made short work of restocking Poppy's medical potions. My lesson plans were set and filed with Albus and that left me with sorting through the new potions supplies for my private stash and the student cupboards. The air of anticipation grew as the date Fawkes indicated for the new Defence instructor's arrival approached.

 

When the man finally arrived during dinner, exactly a week after the staff meeting, shock rippled through my fellow staff at the sight of him. He was skeletal with a shock of white hair and as he approached the head table where we all sat I joined the shocked gasp that escaped everyone at the same time. The new Defence professor was none other than Harry Potter. I couldn't fathom what had caused the shocking change in the Boy-Who-Lived. He was no longer the spitting image of his father and I wondered what had happened to cause such a drastic change in the wizard. I didn't think that those articles condemning him as the next Dark Lord were responsible for the parody of the Harry Potter I taught all those years ago. Potter walked to the empty seat at the table without speaking a word to anyone. I managed to catch a glimpse of his face as he passed my seat. His eyes weren't the vibrant green they once were, instead they were dull and he looked as if he was having trouble walking. He sat and a plate of food materialized in front of him, but he didn't eat. I looked down the table to gauge the responses of my colleagues and saw Albus staring at Potter with a look of disapproval. I watched as Minerva started to question Albus about his apparent dislike of Potter. 

 

Minerva's argument went on for several long minutes and I looked over at Potter again as I waited for it to end. Potter wasn't eating. He just played with the food on his plate and I could see his hand shaking far more than nerves could ever cause. I sensed Minerva's argument ending by the chilliness of the woman sitting beside me. I turned to ask her what was going on, but never got the chance to voice it. Ripping agony lanced through my chest and I couldn't stop myself from falling face first into my dinner plate. I could feel hands pulling me out of my chair and I had to assume they were laying me down on the floor. I couldn't lace two thoughts together into a coherent sentence due to the pain. It wasn't receding like the previous attacks did, and this time it allowed me the mercy of oblivion. I slid into the darkness readily and hoped I'd never wake up.

 

I don't know how long I was unconscious, but when my eyes opened I found that I was in one of the hospital beds with a weight on my chest. Fawkes was there staring at me once again and most likely that gaze was the reason I woke to begin with. I opened my mouth to yell the bird, but never got the chance. The moment my mouth opened Fawkes literally stuck his foot into it. He leaned all his weight on my lower jaw and pecked at my lip until it bled. He then bit at one of the talons holding my mouth open until it too bled. I gagged as the taste of avian and human blood mixed on my tongue and before I could bring myself to vomit, the bird shed two tears into my mouth, making sure the tears touched my bloody lip and his bleeding talon before joining the blood on my tongue. He stepped back and looked expectantly at me. I didn't waste anytime letting the bird know what I thought about him.

 

"What the hell do you think you're doing, you stupid annoying bird?" I snarled at the phoenix roosting quietly on my chest. "Are you determined to poison me or drown me in the remains of my dinner?"

 

 **"No, Severus, I'm not trying to harm you in any way. I just need you to hear me and understand me."** The voice echoed in my head and made me jump.

 

"Fawkes?" I asked in disbelief. 

 

**"Who did you expect, the castle perhaps?"**

 

"Why me? Why are you hounding me? You've never bothered to acknowledge my presence in years."

 

**"Albus is getting on in years and the man I chose to be my bond mate needs help. The help of his soul mate to be specific. You."**

 

"How did you find out about that?" Dread filled me as I whispered the question to the phoenix. I did not want Albus to find out about the bond. I didn’t want to lose my freedom to anyone.

 

**"I knew the first time I saw the two of you in a room together. The way your auras reached out to each other was unmistakable. He needs you Severus and those attacks you're feeling are caused by Harry's soul dying."**

 

"I do not wished to be chained again, Fawkes. I will not do it. I want to be left alone."

 

**"You can not live the rest of your life without human contact. No man can, just like no country can survive with out the help of its neighbours."**

 

"I'm not so unbalanced that I need a mate impinging on my life." I snarled at the phoenix once again. "I do not want to be shackled."

 

 **"Why assume that you need the bond? I know for a fact that Harry needs it. He always has thanks to Voldemort. He needs a sun to orbit and you're it."** Fawkes tilted his head before speaking again. **"He needs you Severus and I need you to save him. If he dies I will too. I can not survive the loss of two bond mates in a short time."**

 

"Is Albus' time that short?" I asked hesitantly. I can't imagine the world with out Albus meddling in it.

 

**"I'm not sure how long, but I believe he'll be gone during the late spring months. He is old and he feels his task is done on this earth. He wishes to see his family again. I've done the harder part of bringing Harry home. The rest is up to you. He needs you and I know he loves you."**

 

"I will think about it, Fawkes. Now get the hell out of here and let me sleep."

 

I could hear the bird's laughter echoing in my head long after he disappeared. I spent the rest of the time I was in the Hospital Wing thinking. It was just my luck that the bird found out about the soul bond between me and Potter. I was so angry when I felt it snap into place the first time I laid eyes on the brat during the sorting his first year at Hogwarts. I'd done everything in my power to deny the bond and drive the younger man away. It worked to an extent, but if Fawkes was to be believed it didn't prevent the emotions associated with the bond from developing. I wondered why Potter never approached me if that was the way he felt about me. It was a mystery and I was damned the moment I realized it was. I cursed the bird mentally for letting me know there was something undiscovered nearby. I wondered when the bird realized that I couldn't resist a puzzle.

 

It took me a few moments to realize that I was going to pursue the younger man and once again I silently cursed the phoenix for complicating my life. Now that I was set upon the path I decided that I had to observe Potter for a while to figure out what else was wrong with him. I didn't believe that the soul bond was the sole reason for what was bothering the green-eyed man. The way he looked triggered something in my mind, but it slithered away every time I tried to snatch it. It would reappear when it felt like it and I'd be able to grab it when it did.

 

The next morning I set about observing Potter whenever he was out of his rooms, which wasn't often. Once classes started I would be able to do so more since there was no excuse for him to barricade himself in his rooms. We all had mandatory hall patrols after curfew and Potter would have to excuses. He still didn't have much of an appetite and he avoided Albus like the plague. He tried to stay away from his former Head of House, but didn't escape her ninety percent of the time. He gave in and listened half-heartedly to her lectures, though he avoided almost all of the questions she asked about him. 

 

School started several days after Potter's arrival, and the attacks I suffered were occurring at regular intervals. Enough so I could make it to my office, quarters or unused classroom to suffer in peace. The students were just as shocked at Potter's appearance as the staff. It was during my annual lecture to my serpents that the question to what was wrong with Potter was answered. I listened with half an ear to the conversation between one of my third years, one of the few muggle born that make it into Slytherin, and two of my older students. He was describing how much Potter was looking like his brother several years ago and that was when it clicked. Potter had started to take Muggle drugs while he was away and the shaking may be due to withdrawal, though I didn't place much hope on him stopping on his own. I remembered the uphill battle with Thomas Payne as me and my students confronted him about his addiction and dealt with the debilitating withdrawal that should have put him in the hospital. It took almost the entire year before he was functional again and one of the older students spent the summer with him to prevent him from indulging again.

 

Now that I had an idea about Potter, I would be able to form a game plan for dealing with the brat. Unfortunately Potter wasn't cooperating now that I was ready to corner him. Any time he caught sight of me he would flee in the opposite direction. At meal times I saw the shaking of his hands getting worse and his body getting ever thinner as the weeks progressed. He was breaking out in a sweat constantly now and I was sure he was out of the drugs he needed to keep it at bay; all the better for my plans. If he didn't have anymore it would be easier to convince him to quit. Fawkes started to help me pinpoint his location as the weeks went on, but Potter was very good at avoiding me. He most likely still had that map his father and friends made. It was the only explanation available to me. 

 

It would be a month later before I could corner Potter and this time I had help. Fawkes had alerted me one evening after the students were in bed that Potter was in the Astronomy tower and that caused the alarms in my head to go off. Potter couldn't be thinking of jumping, it wouldn't be like him to do so. I raced up the stairway of the tower and stopped my head long flight when I heard voices echoing down the stairwell. I recognized Minerva's voice in its mother-mode and heard Potter's bare whisper answer her. I slipped into the shadows to listen to their conversation.

 

"Harry, what do you think you're doing?" Minerva asked Potter with a worry laden voice.

 

"Just sitting here, Professor. There's not much else for me to do." Potter answered in a whisper with no inflection in his voice.

 

"I hope you're not going to consider jumping." Minerva stated plainly, making sure that Potter knew she wouldn't allow it.

 

"I was, but there's no one for me to do so." Potter said with a self-deprecating laugh before he leaned outwards. I was ready to spring and catch him before he toppled off the battlement he was sitting on only to stop in shock. He was leaning up against an invisible barrier. 

 

"I see Albus knew of your state of mind when you arrived." 

 

"He didn't do this. The house-elves did. I recognize their magic. Over the years I've learned to recognize the different feel between the magic of house-elves, humans and goblins." Potter started to shake even more at that point and the torchlight from the stairwell made the beads of sweat on his brow glisten. 

 

"Harry, you shouldn't be out here. You're sick. I'll take to you Poppy."

 

"I'm not sick, Professor. There's no need to bother Madam Pomfrey."

 

"Yes you are, Harry." Minerva insisted and I decided to enter the fray.

 

"He's not sick, Minerva. He's suffering from withdrawal. He's addicted to Muggle drugs." I told my older colleague as I locked eyes with the younger.

 

"Harry, is this true?" Minerva asked and when she received no reply I strode up to the younger man and rolled up his left sleeve. Familiar bruising littered the area around his elbow. 

 

Minerva gasped as she stared at the mottled black, blues, greens and yellows on Harry's arms.

 

"So that's why Albus didn't want anything to do with you? Why Harry?" She said after working her jaw silently for several moments.

 

"Why not? It made the pain go away. There's nothing out there for me. I'm tired of being alone." Potter said in a slightly louder voice than he used earlier while trying to pull his arm out of my grasp.

 

I tried to look Harry in the eye, but the younger man avoided eye contact. I spared a moment to question my mind as to when the pest became Harry and decided it didn't matter. While I resumed my attempt to get Harry to look at me I continued to listen to Minerva's mostly one-sided conversation with Harry.

 

"You have to search for someone if you don't want to be alone, Harry." Minerva told the younger man in a gentle voice. "They won't come to you while you're locked in your flat."

 

"I did go looking. I've had more men than the average whore on the streets and still haven't found someone. There's only one person for me and he's involved with someone else. Besides he'd never look at me to begin with."

 

I was surprised that Harry would go as far to admit something like that with me being present, but I was at a loss as to who he believed I was seeing. I haven't been near another person since I helped set Lucius up in order to get him off the streets and into Azkaban where he belonged. That happened towards the end of Harry's seventh year and then everything clicked into place. Harry must have seen me with Lucius just before I left the school. He must have considered telling me about his feelings, saw Lucius, and gave up hope. How I wanted to slap the brat for his stupidity. I was slightly insulted that Harry thought I would stoop so low as to bed Lucius Malfoy. I still feel filthy to this day for the little contact I had with him five years ago.

 

"Idiot." I hissed at Harry and he looked up in surprise, unintentionally meeting my eyes when he did so.

 

I took advantage of the eye contact and silently cast a Legilimens on the younger man. He tried his hardest to keep me out, but given the condition he was in, he couldn't muster the strength to cast me out. I sifted through the memories racing past until I found what I was looking for and I remembered the scene Harry witnessed. It was the last time I saw Lucius Malfoy. I had just tricked the blonde into confessing his actions. The memory I accessed showed Lucius pinning me to the wall outside my office in a torrid kiss. I remember wanting to gag, but what shocked me most was the emotion attached to Harry's memory. Utter devastation, and a few moments later, resignation. I couldn't understand the emotions or what caused them. I'm handicapped in that aspect of life and it's a hindrance at this moment in time. I touched upon the memories of his time away from us and I couldn't help feeling pity for what he'd become, though I hid it well. He wouldn't appreciate that emotion one iota.

 

"What right do you have to judge me? Go back to your lover, Professor." Harry hissed a few moments later.

 

"Minerva, I'll deal with, Potter. I'm sure there are students taking advantage of our preoccupation and causing havoc." I told Minerva without looking away from Harry.

 

"If you're sure, Severus. Goodnight to you both." Minerva left quietly leaving Harry and me alone in the Astronomy Tower.

 

I waited to make sure we wouldn't be bothered before speaking again.

 

"Did you think what you saw was real? Do you think I'd associate with the man that murdered and mutilated my godson?" I asked in a hoarse voice. Emotions I never let loose very apparent to the younger man, whose eyes opened wide in surprise.

 

"I only know what I saw and it looked pretty real to me." Harry eyes shone with unshed tears.

 

"I set Lucius up that day and he went to Azkaban not even an hour later. He’s scheduled to receive the Dementor's kiss next month. He's one of the few Death Eaters still alive in the prison." I could see a small glimmer of hope in those green eyes, one of the few signs of life in the thin man. "If you wish to be with me you must kick this addiction. Did you bring any with you?"

 

"No, Fawkes destroyed them all before I left the States." Harry replied in an annoyed tone.

 

"I see Fawkes has been driving you mad too. I'm glad I'm not alone. I'll help you through this, but you have to want it too." Harry was silent and looked me straight in the eye searching for something. It was enough for me to add to my previous statement. "Do you want to be with me still, want it enough to heal your soul?"

 

"Yes, I've spent the past five years trying to forget you, but will you be able to tolerate me? You never had before." Harry said hesitantly.

 

"Of course I can. I acted the way I did because I feared losing the small bit of freedom I had. You're my soul mate, Harry, and if you don't believe me ask your phoenix. He knew all along."

 

"I don't have a phoenix, Severus." I shivered as Harry said my name and everything seemed louder and brighter as I cupped the younger man's chin. "The only phoenix I know is Fawkes and he's the Headmaster's familiar."

 

"Fawkes has already bonded to you. He's preparing for when Albus' time is up. Our bond was the reason he made you come home." I told the younger man, who still wasn't convinced, but he nodded anyway. "Come downstairs with me. I'll have Minerva cancel our classes until we deal with your problem."

 

"All right." Harry said softly as he slid off the battlement he was sitting on.

 

I led Harry through the dimly lit hallways to my quarters and once safely ensconced in my domain, I held him close to me. Already I could feel the difference with in myself now that Harry was here beside me. Without thinking I lowered my head and found Harry looking up. His head was at the perfect angle for a kiss and as soon as the thought crossed my mind I had my lips pressed softly against his. The slow press of skin against skin gradually turned into something wetter and hotter as we each discovered new territory to explore. Phoenix song echoed in my head as my tongue danced with Harry's and a feeling of rightness filled me as we continued.

 

We have a long road to walk until Harry is well and his demons chained, but I know it'll be worth it in the long run. I can picture it now. Harry will be once again the young man that the witches threw themselves at and when they do I'll get to see the despair in their faces when Harry kisses me in front of them. Yes, I think I'll let him do that. Most likely it'll be the most fun I've had in years. But first things first; Harry.


End file.
